Sunday, June 14, 2009

Beauty Queen the Video Game

Sony has teamed up with the toy makers Mattel to create a fun, innovative and highly educational game for young girls called Beauty Queen. The game was created for girls ages 5 and up. The two companies modeled the video game after Rock Band, but added some extra special features. In addition to the video game, the package comes with a vanity fully equipped with a 200-piece Stila cosmetic kit, tweezers, curlers, hairbrush, hairdryer, bronzing spray and Preparation H. Girls can feel pretty and make themselves into beauty queens before starting the video game.

In Beauty Queen the video game, girls experience the competitive side of being a beauty queen as well as the day-to-day challenges beauty queens face. Even girls who will never be pretty enough to actually compete in beauty pageants will gain an understanding and respect for the adversity beauty queens must overcome.

To start, each girl builds their very own Beauty Queen avatar. The game is programmed with the specifications of a perfect woman. Girls are expected to modify their avatars throughout the game in order to meet these specifications. Girls compete in pageants and vie for modeling jobs and commercial work. The money they earn from their work must be used to pay for items such as beauty pageant clothing, makeup, diet pills, pedicures and cosmetic surgery.

The game's pageant competitions include all the usual activities: swimwear, evening gown, talent, etc. During the interview portion of the pageant, girls are asked difficult questions about themselves by the game and are fed appropriate answers, karaoke style. Using a microphone, they are expected to read and emphasize certain underlined words and phrases and are scored on their ability to do so. During the talent portion, girls choose to sing, dance (using a component similar to Dance Dance Revolution), twirl a baton or recite their favorite bible passage. For each portion of the pageant, contestants receive scores from the computer judges and from the other girls. One at a time, each girl leaves the room for 2 minutes so her friends can judge her as well.

This game is sure to be a hit and, most importantly, will provide young ladies with the kind of real life training every girl can benefit from.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Action Alert: Prejean Dethroned!

As many of you have likely heard, Ms. Carrie Prejean was dethroned effective June 10, 2009. Sources have revealed that this blog directly contributed to this surprising turn of events. While you might be tempted to celebrate this news, we here at the Postjean Movement have had a change of heart. We think we believe that Ms. Prejean should be able to use the forum of Ms. California to further clarify her thoughts on opposite marriage. In order to fully express our support, we will be staffing lemonade booths across the country this weekend in order to raise money to support Ms. Prejean’s legal fight to regain her throne. Obviously, we will be serving Crystal Light ™ instead of that full calorie summer sin juice.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Lavigne, Lohan, Perry & Simpson Aim to Revive the Riot Grrrl Movement on Their Terms

Listen up music fans! Avril Lavigne, Lindsay Lohan, Katy Perry and Ashley Simpson are teaming up to form an all-girl punk band called Grrrrls Rule. These 4 pop superstars intend to pick up where Sleater-Kinney, Bikini Kill, and the like left off. Bands in the original riot grrrl movement addressed serious women’s issues such as rape, domestic abuse, sexuality and female empowerment. Lavigne, Lohan, Perry and Simpson all agree the songs and style of the movement were a bit abrasive for their tastes and the subject matter was too “heavy”. Simpson described the Grrrrls Rule style as “riot grrrl light.” “We don’t want to alienate our guys.” Perry added, “yeah, we’re not really the bra burning types”. Lavigne was quick to point out that she’s “married to a guy”. Lohan will be fronting the band and assured interviewers that she is no “angry lesbian” and the music and lyrics they’re writing will be palatable to everyone. “I mean, after all, Katy’s I Kissed a Girl was a huge hit. That’s the kind of thing we’re going for, but with a little more of an edge.” According to their label, Grrrrls Rule’s album will be out Valentine’s Day 2010. Watch out for their spring tour later that year.

Survey Suggests Many May Blame Prejean for California's Economic Woes

A recent survey (see official questionnaire below) suggests 98% of Californians feel there could possibly be a correlation between Carrie Prejean's statements on gay marriage and the economic turmoil California is facing.

1. Did you watch the the Miss USA pageant on television on April 19, 2009?

2. Did you find out about California's economic problems after the pageant?

3. Is there a slight possibility that Miss California's answer about gay marriage could have negatively affected California's economy?

Note: This sample is based on a phone survey of N=42 people from Lone Pine, CA. Of those surveyed, those who answered yes to #1 and #2 were included in the analysis.

BreastStrong Campaign Names New Spokesmodel

In an effort to use her new notoriety to help the less fortunate amongst us, Ms. Carrie Prejean has agreed to become the spokesperson for the BreastStrong Campaign. This relatively new non-profit was originated to help raise money for underprivileged girls to get the breast enhancements they so desperately need. When asked for comment, Prejean stated “I think I believe that all girls, regardless of age or money, should have access to the self-esteem that comes from these important procedures.” Initial sponsors of the campaign include Donald Trump, the Miss California Organization, and FHM.

Forever 21 to Release Prejean Clothing Line

Teen clothing chain Forever 21 just announced this morning that they are collaborating with Miss California on a new line of clothing. The line will simply be called Prejean and is aimed at the modern-traditional girl. A Forever 21 spokesperson told us that “Prejean will be more than just a clothing line. It’s a lifestyle brand. Prejean will represent Carrie’s views on life and womanhood.” The first piece in the line has already been leaked to the fashion world. In August, girls will be able to purchase the Prejean jean. Don’t be fooled by the name, ladies. The Prejean jean is actually a skirt. Yes, it’s made of denim, but there will be no pants in Miss California’s line. When asked about her rationale, Carrie said “in my opinion and how I was raised, women in pants confuse men. Also, pants just aren’t pretty.”